Alvis

5 people all sit around a table wearing cloaks. There is some sort of design in the middle of the table. Candles line the room and the main guy has a book in his hands.

1: Tonight is the night in which we resurrect our God Alvis. It has been said that when the stars are aligned, the mortal ones will bring about the destructor. Here we are on this fateful day to bring you about.

They all start to chant and hold hands. They start to stand and the lights begins to flicker. The table shakes and a sound is heard.

1: Come to us Alvis we await as your faithful servants.

More moans as one of the 5 suddenly breaks the chain falling down, the lights go out. One of the five go over and turn on the light. The one who has fallen now has his head uncloaked and is sitting down reading a newsweek. He looks up from his magazine and says, "I am Alvis."

A: Thanks for ressurecting me.
1: We only live to serve you master.
A: Just so you know, you guys are dumbasses.

There is a painful silence.

A: Seriously did you honestly expect to summon a destroyer and leave with your lives? Don't you watch movies? You summon me, I am freed, I kill you all then go on my own murderous rampage.

Again a silence.

2: But we are here to serve you master.
A: You wanna serve me? Cook me some bacon and eggs, You, go to the store and buy US Weekly, You, go to the store and buy me some two ply toilet paper, I ain't wiping with one ply, and you, (He points at 1) I need you to commit some ritualistic suicide so that I can get some more points on my Xbox Live from Satan.

1: I live to serve.

He quickly grabs a knife and slices his neck falling to the ground.

A: Dammit, I didn't want you to make a mess. Go Go Go, looks like we're going to need a lot more two ply.

Everyone leaves the room.

A: Sigh.

Alvis stands up.

A: I should probably set up an eharmony account.

Fade to black.