Don't you look Menacing my dear.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Blog-o-sphere, I come before you with an announcement which may shake your very core. I come to you an innocent man, whom shall not be innocent for long. For officially at 8:35 a.m. mountain standard time, on December the 7th and 2007 being the year, I Jonathan Fairbanks will become as the LDS theologians call a "Menace To Society". I am unmarried and turning twenty five years of age. I'm sure as the theologians say I will be "spotted with boils" and "live in the streets with a dumpy spark plug physique." So if any of you have need of me, look in dark corners or the tupperware isle at Smiths. (Food Lion for you east coasters). I will be there, wasting away in my own quasi-margaritaville, awaiting my sentencing as an unmarried miscreant. Farewell cruel youth, and I welcome you oh single adulthood. If any of you want to come visit me to place a solitary flower on my abashed youth, please feel free. Oh and for you unmarried people whom happen to be older than I and reading this, please welcome me to the fray, we will be merry and drink rum and eat fermented Watermelon. Oh it will be grand.