Dead Names

Eric is sitting on his couch playing video games when Doug bursts in with a teenage girl.

Doug: Dude you won't believe it.
Eric: That you scored a teenager?
Doug: No dude, not just any teenager.
Eric: Wait I was joking when I said score.
Doug: Well I didn't really score her, but I found her and you gotta check this out.
Eric: What?
Doug: Guess what her name is?
Eric: Sarah?
Doug: No dude, oh man I can't even tell you how cool this is, it's Eleanor!
Eric: Okay...
Doug: Dude, how many Eleanors do you know?
Eric: I think I had a great grandma Eleanor.
Doug: Exactly. It's an old person name. Only old people have the name, it's a dead name like the dead sea scrolls or dead languages. Dead, dude, Dead!
Eleanor: Can I go now?
Doug: No hold on, See Eric? Do you see what this means?
Eric: Not really.
Doug: It means dead names are coming back!
Eric: Okay...
Doug: So, do you realize what this means? I can go get myself a name change.
Eric: And what do you want to call yourself?
Doug: Mortimer.
Eric: Mortimer?
Doug: I'm gonna do it.
Eric: Alright, but you're gonna look foolish.
Doug: What? Why?
Eric: Well you see this girl, Eleanor, how old are you Eleanor.
Eleanor: 16. Can I go now?
Eric: Yeah get outta here.

Eleanor leaves.

Eric: She's 16, you're 25.
Doug: So?
Eric: So dead names are back as of 16 year olds. You come in a 25 year old Mortimer and you're going to be laughed at and ridiculed.
Doug: Oh no.
Eric: So if you really want Mortimer, you have to find someone your age with a dead name.
Doug: I understand. I'm off!

Doug starts to leave.

Eric: You know...
Doug: What?
Eric: I haven't seen you in like a year.
Doug: I know, but once I find a 25 year old we can hang out again.
Eric: Alright...

Doug Leaves.

Eric: Mortmer...

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'Eleanor'.